This Magic Moment

 You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment...

-Henry David Thoreau

Why is it that as we get older we start to dread birthdays?  Certain milestone birthdays are especially intimidating....40, 50, 60.  I put some of the blame on greeting card companies and their ilk.  The "Over the Hill" birthday cards, fun grim reaper party balloons, and these

It doesn't help when I stop to consider that there are so many people who, at my age accomplished far more than myself. 

While I still don't own anything purple and I'm not yelling at kids to get off my lawn (yet), there are days when I definitely feel my age.  I do find consolation in the fact that I'm not as old as Barbie and the Edsel.

There are times I relish the idea that I'm getting to the point that I'm old enough to say exactly what's on my mind and not care (much) what anyone else thinks.  The last thing I want to do is become a cliche, though, and I feel I'm dangerously close to that precipice.  This book is now on my wish list and I keep this website close for what our culture likes to call "senior moments".  And it's nice to know that the NYTimes has my back.

There are blogs out there that take ownership of the subject of aging:  How Not to Act Old and Crabby Old Fart.  And Margaret and Helen are my new heroines.

I think we dread birthdays as we age because of past regrets and anxiety about the future.  One way to change this is to start living in the now.  Be mindful of the moment you're in, and stop focusing on the thoughts, negative or otherwise, that come and go.  Easier said than done.

There is a term that Buddhists use to describe the constant hum that goes on in your head.  It is, and I'm not making this up, "monkey mind".  I can't think of a better way to describe what is going on in my brain at any given moment.

Psychology Today had a great article a couple of years ago called "The Art of Now:  Six Steps to Living in the Moment" which is sort of a beginner's guide to mindfulness.

The six steps are, in a nutshell

• Unselfconsciousness- getting out of your own head and being part of what's going on around you
  
• Savoring- appreciating the moment...stop flitting around between past and future
  
• Breathe- something you can do anywhere, anytime to bring you back to being present in the moment
  
• Flow- focusing your attention on a task so as to not even notice the passage of time
  
• Acceptance- a non-judgmental way of looking at emotions
  
• Engagement- not assuming you know everything about the moment you're presently in 

So, this is my resolution for my new year...to be more mindful about the present, and to try and tame my monkey mind.

Now, where did I put my...um, what do you call them?  Oh, yeah, car keys.

(thanks again, John and Ann!)

I'll Be Looking at the Moon, But I'll Be Seeing You

 I will honour Christmas in my heart, 
and try to keep it all the year.

I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future.

The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me.

I will not shut out the lessons they teach.

-Ebeneezer Scrooge

             

Because of several unfortunate incidents, including, but not limited to: the sunburn incident, the shingles incident, and the great thumb incident of aught-nine, and because Christmas waits for no (wo)man, something had to give this year.

So was it the cookies that got the boot? The Raspberry Shortbread Cookies, Dulce de Leche Gingersnap Sandwich Cookies or the Lemon Meringue Filled Ginger Snap cookies? Inconceivable! (They were awesome!)

Was it the Gramercy Tavern Gingerbread Cake or Meyer Lemon-Cranberry Bundt Cake? Not a chance.

The tourtiere? Nope (more on that later.)

It was Christmas cards that took the hit this year. No cheerful notecard with photos depicting our wondrous life in the Bay Area. No newsy newsletter. Not even the random talking squirrel Ecard (there was the occasional dancing elf card, but that's another story.)

I'm not sure I've ever missed a year of sending at least some cards...even when I had the perfectly legitimate excuse of two small children, or the Hanukkah Eve Wind Storm of 2006 that caused a power outage lasting over a week in below freezing temperatures, when I had to write cards with numb fingers by candlelight.

I fear my omission of the annual card writing only succeeded in offending the Ghost of Christmas Past.

I then had the audacity to provoke the Ghost of Christmas Present by making a short unexpected trip to the east coast two weeks before Christmas. I nearly lost three toes and a finger in the sub-zero weather, and I lost all my gelt in a rousing game of dreidel...so much fun-akkah!

So, to avoid triggering the three-strike rule by goading the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, I offer this appeasement: "Ode to the Christmas Ornament".

The history of the Christmas tree and ornament is actually pretty interesting. The first ornaments were fruits and nuts. Way back when, German families hung shaped gingerbread cookies on their tree as ornaments. I used to do that, too, until the year we were awoken in the middle of the night by mice jumping into the tree to eat the cookies. I don't do that any more.

I started collecting gold-covered brass ornaments- the kind you can buy at tacky souvenir shops- about 13 years ago when we drove from Boston to San Francisco.  And believe you me, there are plenty of tacky gift shops between here and there.  Because I don't live at 30 Rockefeller Plaza I can't display all of these ornaments on our tree, so for now I stick to the more conventional ornaments.

Other than that, our tree is pretty traditional.  Except I don't use tinsel...I find tinsel distracting :)

So, without further ado I give you my peace offering to the Spirits of Christmas Past, Present, and Future.  Here they are, in no particular order:

The year we got engaged

1982: Our first Christmas together

Yosemite

Washington:
Hurricane Ridge ornament,
Space Needle ornament,
Ornament made with the ash of Mount St. Helens,
Ornament from the Stanley Family Reunion 1990


Tijuana


Taiwan


Skiing


No Christmas tree is complete without a Simpsons ornament...
...ours has two!

San Leandro


Poky Little Puppy (complete with diamond earrings)


Oakham and Barre


New Orleans


New England:
Wellfleet,
Faneuil Hall in Boston,
Longfellow's Wayside Inn and Grist Mill,
Kennebunkport, ME
Gold dipped leaves from Walden Pond


Victoria, BC ornament,
Ornament made of olive wood from Bethlehem (Walnut Bowl Factory Store in Lebanon, MO)
Pigeon Point Lighthouse, Pescadero, CA
San Diego golf ball,
Two ornaments from Leavenworth, WA


Issaquah, WA


Handmade by me


Handmade by someone else


From the kids


Disneyland 2000, 2001, 2002


Curious George in NYC, 2001


Ornaments of accomplishment:
Emerson
UC Berkeley


Bodega Bay, Monterey, Placerville


Officially the Oldest Ornament on the Tree, circa 1976
(from somewhere in Southern California)


Berkeley 2000
Lawrence Hall of Science

And finally, the quirkiest ornament on our tree:
Liberace from Las Vegas

Hope your Yule Log is burning bright tonight!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

I Ain't Afraid of No Ghost!

I have always loved all things Halloween. I think it may be my favorite Holiday.

I love the candy, obviously. I also love the corniness of bobbing for apples, doughnut races, and scary ghost stories (when I was a kid I read every book my library had by Hans Holzer.)

The Haunted Mansion is one of my favorite rides at Disneyland, and this is great.

I love scary movies, but no one will go with me, and I'm too scared to go alone. I was probably around 7 years old when I first saw The Blob, and it scared me to death (years later of course I wondered what could possible be frightening about gelatinous ooze from which one could literally stroll out of the way.)

I love all the new paranormal reality shows on TV now, much to the dismay of other members of the family....hey, they're Roto-Rooter Plumbers by day, ghost hunters by night! What's not to love?!!)

Dark Shadows was my favorite TV show when I was a kid- when I could sneak over to a friend's house to watch it, that is. Now I watch these episodes and they're so schlocky (this one is terrifying though, especially at 5 minutes and 8 seconds into the video. Schtick around until the end...you'll be glad you did!)

I am especially fond of pumpkin carving (if it's scary pumpkin carving, all the better.) I didn't think I'd be doing a pumpkin this year, what with my developing pathological fear of knives (if I had only known, I would have started doing this), but apparently people depend on me for these kind of things.

Pumpkins I Have Known:

Circa 1965: Arizonan Primitive Pumpkin

1999: Our "Party Like It's 1999" Berkeley Pumpkin
(quirky but lovable)

2000: Ooh, Our Scaaary Millenium San Leandro Pumpkin

2001: Our "If We Don't Have a Pumpkin the Terrorist Win" Patriotic Pumpkin

2002: Another San Leandro Pumpkin
(I think this subconsciously signified the
beginning of our interest in the culinary arts)

2003: What happened in 2003? We may never know...oooh, spooky!

2004: San Leandro again

2005: Issaquah Pumpkin
(surprised the pumpkins stayed lit with all the rain)

2006: More Issaquah, More Rain

2007: San Mateo: Great Pumpkins- Crappy Photos

2008: San Mateo again

2009: Ho Hum

It's obviously time to either move or perk up our pumpkin projects. Maybe next year I'll try something more challenging, like this, or this.

Here are some amazing pumpkins for your perusal.

If you've got a young 'un, or if you're feeling particularly agressive, you can take a hammer and nail (if you dare) to your pumpkin.

If you're wondering what to do with all your leftover pumpkins, there's always this.

Happy Halloween!

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Can't Touch This

The surgery to repair the tendon on my left hand went well; stitches came out last Tuesday. The pain is mostly gone now, and I'm in a splint for 6 weeks. PT won't start until week three; until then my thumb is completely immobilized, trussed-up like a Thanksgiving turducken.

A sort of ennui has settled over the house.

All the stuff I love to do is taunting me from their dusty corners. My sewing machine sits dejected- all those promises of pulling it out and getting started early this Holiday season tossed out like so many pattern pieces along the dusty trail of life (sigh).

My knitting needles mock me, aiming their pointy tips accusingly in my direction..so many unfinished objects.

My Cuisenart and rolling pin, Kitchenaid mixer- well, I can't even make eye contact with them, especially after seeing this. It's all just so, well, sad.

All the while the knives lay menacingly in wait in their new little Kapoosh-y home, all safe and dry, while I sit in this cursed splint, unable to perform even the most simple domestic tasks (If I had one of these, I would be awesome.)

Okay, I've got my Hammer-pants on; break it down!

The awesome pasta maker I found in a Wellfleet thrift store for $4?

Can't touch this

(but everyone else can:)


Pasta Making from Steve Miller on Vimeo.

All the free tulle I scored (thanks, Mom!) that's just begging to be sewn into produce bags?

Can't touch this!

I had such high hopes for this fabric from Paul and Mark, but...

Can't touch this!
Yo, I told you! Can't touch this!

I found this vintage fabric children's book at the same thrift store in Wellfleet; I imagined upcycling it into quilt squares

Can't touch this!

Steve's vest I've been trying to finish for a year. I was just about to separate the fronts and back when

Why you standin' there, man? Can't touch this!

Front View

Side View

Back View

Stop! Hammer time!

But that's just stinkin-thinkin'...I guess all is not lost. There are some things that apparently can be done with one hand tied behind your back: like this, or this, and it would be so cool right now to have one of these. A big "thumbs up" to this guy!

Thumbthing in the Way She Moves

I just finished Julia Child's My Life in France which I enjoyed immensely, and I've been spending some time trying to put into words exactly why.

Partly it was the pure joy that she imbued throughout the process of learning to cook, and as the book progresses you can see how her love of French food expands to all things French.

Even more endearing is her enthusiasm for putting these recipes down on paper, her commitment to getting every step of the recipe precisely correct, her thoroughness, attention to detail and pure delight in every aspect of the process, right down to the all the foibles and flub-ups. Just after beginning her work Mastering the Art of French Cooking she writes, "Now that I had started writing, I found cookbookery such fulfilling work that I intended to keep at it for years and years."

But mostly what I think I loved was the gradual process of her finding her true passion in life, her raison d'etre, if you will. Julia writes of her time at Smith College that she was "[...]only operating with half my burners turned on." Even at at the age of thirty-seven she was "[...]still discovering who I was." This gives me hope.

The one important message I took from this book: Don't be afraid of tackling the hard stuff or the unknown. The result doesn't have to be perfect; what's important is that you tried, and hopefully learning from your mistakes. "[...]it's all theory until you see for yourself whether or not something works."

Here is today's lesson: always take your time when you're putting your sharp knives away.

As Julia would say, Ouf!

We all make mistakes. Especially crafty people, with all those exacto knives and all. But as a wise person told me recently, cautious people may not end up in the emergency room, but they rarely create anything exciting, either.

So I bought one of these...

The jury is still out however. Reviews are mixed on this product, but it circumvents the surprisingly dangerous task of slipping the knife back into the cover that's supposed to protect you from cutting yourself on a dangerously sharp knife...you gotta love the irony.

Another good thing: it's dishwasher safe! But it can't hold knives that are more than 8" long (I would never store a knife as shown in this photo. Never. Ever.)

This is next on my list.

Burning questions remain, however:

• Will I ever thumb-wrestle again? (I coulda' been a contenda')
• Or do whatever the hell it is they're doing here?
• I do fear that my pencil spinning career has been cut short, so to speak.
• Even knitting is taunting me!

Big thumbs up to Steve for taking time away from Photoshopping gophers into wedding photos to help me promote my new line of "Thumbstrong" bracelets. Thanks, Steve!